How to Love Your Body & Increase Your Confidence

Feb 2

I recently read the book “Body of Truth” by Harriet Brown (if you haven’t read it, I would HIGHLY recommend you do so, especially if you were drawn to the title of this post). But in it, she talks about the average age of girls who diet these days is around 8. EIGHT. I put down the book and cried when I read that.

How can someone, at such a young age, take on the belief that they should hate their body’s and therefore want to change? And then take those beliefs into adulthood leading to years of yo-yo dieting, self deprecating comments, and self-hatred when looking in the mirror.

If you relate to any of that, I want to first say how sorry I am that you grew up in a world that told you your body was not good enough. And if you haven’t heard it anywhere else today, you are a beautiful sexy human and you deserve to feel nothing but love for yourself when you look in the mirror.

In today’s post, we will be discussing how you can begin taking steps to reprogram your mind and to see yourself as the beautiful creature that you are!

Beliefs that Aren’t Our Own

First let’s identify those beliefs that are floating around your head and figure out where they came from. Maybe it came from a family member who used to tease you about your “baby fat” or you grew up in a friend group as the “bigger” friend, or maybe you saw your mom / sister / aunt dieting and tearing their bodies apart and you grew up thinking that was just how women treat themselves. Whatever the root is to the way you see yourself, I want you to write down a list of all the things you believe about your body and most importantly whose belief it belongs to.

For instance, I was told as a child that I “ had extra baby fat” or friends parents loved me because I was a “good eater”. So I began to see my body as fat (even at my lowest weight) and I became ashamed of my eating habits because people took notice. To this day, I sometimes feel ashamed to snack in front of people. But it is freeing to realize that those beliefs were not inherently mine, those beliefs came from outside myself. And as I’m sure you know, these beliefs run DEEP, so we can’t expect them to change overnight. But I do believe this is the first step.

*Disclaimer: This is not the blame game. While yes, our society as a whole has a long way to go, I don’t want you to start resenting your family and friends for saying these things. The point of this exercise is instead to start to identify that these beliefs did not come from YOU. They came from outside of YOU. This is in the hopes that you can start to learn to change these beliefs.

Affirmations to Self-Love

1) Flip those Beliefs

Next, I want you to take your list from the step above, flip over your sheet of paper, and for every negative belief you have about your body I want you to write something positive. So, your limiting beliefs turn into a powerful statement about your body (or your being in general)

I’ve always been the fat friend —> I love my sexy curves
I’m overweight and that’s all anyone sees when they look at me —> My body is the least interesting thing about me and I have so much to offer the world other than my looks.
I feel gross when I look at myself in the mirror —> My body got me through a global pandemic and allows me to do all of the activities I want to do on a daily basis

2) Compile a List

Then sit down and for 3 minutes write as many things as you can think of that you love about yourself (physical & non-physical characteristics). I want you to take all of the positive statements you wrote on the other side and you can add any other ones you like (even if you don’t necessarily believe them to be true). Here are some of my personal favorites:

I love my body or (insert body part you love here) -> juicy butt, voluptuous curves, you eyes, your smile.
I’m not meant to fit my clothes, my clothes are meant to fit me
My body is strong and capable and has gotten me through a lot
I am the healthiest that I’ve ever been

BONUS: Record It

While this step is optional, I feel as though it is one of the most important ones! What I want you to do, is take your list and record yourself saying them and listen to this recording morning and night. Try listening to it when you’re getting ready in the morning and then right before you fall asleep at night. If you find it cringey or embarrassing, keep doing it.

Take Note of Your Thoughts

Now that you’ve identified these thoughts and where they come from and reversed them to be an appreciative statement about your body, start to take notice of your daily thoughts. Unfortunately, the above exercises will not erase these thoughts entirely and is an ongoing process, however noticing your thoughts and and rerouting them to one of your positive statements is a great place to start. If you body check in the mirror every morning (please stop doing this) and pick apart what you see, try saying your affirmations instead.

Do A Social Media Detox

It’s amazing how much changing what you consume changes your attitude toward yourself. Last year, I unfollowed any account that made me feel bad about myself or that I found that I was comparing myself to. Nothing against that person, it’s just not a healthy mindset to have and let me tell you this works wonders! If there’s an influencer you follow where every time you see their content you think “I wish I could look like that” or “Man, I could never look like that”, unfollow. Follow accounts that make you feel good about yourself, because you deserve it my love. You deserve to feel nothing but gratitude for a body that has gotten you through however many years on this earth, through a freaking global pandemic, and that is simply a vessel to what lies underneath.

Take Care of Yourself Like You Would Someone You Love

This one is probably one of the most important ones, because regardless of if your mind has caught up, you are going to act like you would if you were the love of your own damn life. If you can’t quite get there, think of how someone who loves themselves would act and replicate that or think about how someone who loves you would treat you. And this might look different for every person. How can you show appreciation for your body today?

For example, when I started this practice, I nourished my body how I thought someone who loves themselves would. I started doing skin care every night because I enjoyed doing gua sha and it was a way to show myself some love at the end of the day. I started meditating in the morning because it eased my anxiety and I was more present during my day. You could do your nails, take a bath, take a half hour and read before bed, dress up in an outfit that makes you feel like the bad ass beauty that you are, watch your favorite movie with a bowl of popcorn, stare at yourself naked in the mirror and recite your affirmations (don’t knock it til you try it), stand in the shower and let yourself cry without judgement, give yourself a big ol’ hug and apologize for having torn yourself down. This is not about doing any ONE thing, but instead showing up for yourself like you are the most important person in your life. Because you are.

This is not an overnight fix and does take time, but please be patient with yourself because it is so worth it. I am so proud of you for wanting to be kinder to yourself and to change your life. Please comment your favorite affirmation below to inspire others! And as always, thanks for stopping by for some balanced buzz.